Thanks to our zealously-protected Second Amendment, we have another in a long line of mass killings atop the headlines today. Only in the United States of America. Today we offer a big prize to the first blog post or column that posits the theory of armed students, and how that may have thwarted this latest massacre. You know, the Wild West Theory.
A large glass of Shut the Fuck Up Juice is also offered to the first person who can mock gun control laws as ineffectual and unnecessary. Lucky winners will also be served with The Golden Fist to the Mouth as extra incentive! Good luck, gun-lovers, you brave and hearty souls!
I haven’t exactly been looking, but a quick glance at the Drudge Report this morning reveals a big winner! See, Gun Free Zones are actually more dangerous than having all citizens armed and ready for action. Wow. The Golden Fist and a Large Glass of Shut the Fuck Up Juice for you, my friend!